Angels

I know from personal experience that angels are real and have helped me numerous times. I’ve been protected from harm once while driving across the country, and often when panic threatens to overcome me.

This year has been such a hard one for me with my health problems. My anxiety and stress have been much worse then last year, but I’ve had earthly angels help me unexpectedly, such as stopping over my house with a hot chocolate mug with delicious a mint hot chocolate packet.

Today I will attend church with a brace around my neck and a heavy boot on my right foot. But I will be there! Even as I write this post my nerves are overwhelming me, but I’m picturing heavenly angels sustaining and loving me as I do my best to move forward in faith that everything will be okay in the end because God loves me.

Shopping On A Scooter

I went shopping today with Jim and Noah at Costco. This was the first time I used a motorized scooter there, and it was busy! I had to repeat in my head, this is only temporary, it’s not forever as I drove myself all over the store.

I used to walk faster then the scooter at its highest speed, and in a few minutes I will be going out to Walmart with my brother for Christmas gifts and pray that they have a scooter available. My boot is so heavy even when I’m sitting. I suppose this has been a very good method of humbling me as I watch everyone walking faster then my scooter travels.

I have faith that my foot will heal and that I won’t need a permanent scooter for many years to come.

Broken Foot Anxiety

I went back to the doctor’s office yesterday to check on the broken bone in my foot. It’s better then it was two weeks ago, but my foot is still a little swollen and sometimes hurts. The arch in my foot has become way too flat, so she gave me an orthotic to wear when I put my feet in an athletic shoe. I remembered that I bought a special sandal with great arch support.

I’m worried about the future of my foot if the long bone can break at any given time. My anxiety about working out is high, because it seems like the more I try to fix the weaknesses in my body, new problems arise that complicate any progress that I gained with all the hard work I put in.

My faith that everything will work out in the end is still holding, but I can’t help but worry that someday I may just lose faith in my ability to take good care of my body.

Broken Foot

My lovely cast.

It’s been way too long since my last blog post. It’s been a balance of progress and setbacks in my quest to strengthen my body. Although I’ve been working with a personal trainer and going on long walks with Jim, I somehow managed to break a bone in my right foot.

My foot doctor told me that it’s a heredity issue of the long bone in my foot being too long and breaking as a result of this, and will keep breaking unless I order a customized orthotic for my foot. Hopefully when I return to the doctor on Tuesday, my x-ray will show a healed bone. It’s been another trial of faith to rest my foot when I would rather be walking and serving my family and friends.

Car Crash

Thursday afternoon my husband, son and I were on our way to the local mall. As we were stopped at a red light, we felt the car jerk forward. Unfortunately it hit the car in front of us, though not nearly as hard.

The first thing that I remembered afterwards is my husband saying something like, “these people can’t drive!” His car was lightly hit at a u-turn stop about a month earlier. My neck hurt a lot, so I started crying. We all got out of the car and heard the woman who hit us say that her brakes wouldn’t work. I’ll leave that for the adjusters to figure out; I’m grateful that we are okay.

Noah and I let the ambulance take us to the local hospital to be looked at in case of any complications down the road. I’m hoping the pain doesn’t get any worse. I also felt God’s love for me and His tender mercies for us as my husband gave me a priesthood blessing that included healing oil. I’m grateful that the Lord knows me so well, because most of the time I walk by faith.

My Mental Health

This month has been stressful for me; more than it usually is. It didn’t help that I went a few days without my medication, Sertraline, something I take for my anxiety. I’ve spent much more time crying over various things that I would NEVER do under normal stressful times.

I don’t know if it stems from my brother getting married in two months, if summer is coming which brings way too much heat with it, or if it’s just my body releasing some of my deeply hidden pain. On Saturday my oldest son and I got into an argument (I won’t get into that) but it made me want him to move out. My feelings were deeply hurt, and I knew that I needed to pray for the gift of forgiving him and for strength to endure my difficult life.

Fortunately, he did give me what I needed as I drove out into the country without him so I could think and not feel annoyed at him just for being in the house. We talked about our issues and he promised to be more respectful and allowed me to help his mood swings with my doTerra oils which have helped us with various medical problems!

I’m so grateful to have my Sertraline again, and am grateful for the help it provides me to keep going and getting out of bed each day. I pray the day when I no longer need them to feel less anxious from the heavy load I carry everyday.

Change of Plans

Often I make plans that end up changing. Although I become frustrated, soon enough I see the Lord’s Hands creating something better than what I imagined. And while I don’t usually want the change in whatever it is I have pictured in my mind, accepting it is how I grow. It’s how I continue learning to trust Him, that He will do what He’s promised to if I exercise my faith in Him.

So when I drove to New Castle, Pennsylvania on May 1 to look at an investment house, I was bummed to learn that they just accepted an offer from someone. Seriously, I had an appointment to see it the next morning!

The highlight of the visit was when my brother met his girlfriend and they became engaged. I don’t know how they would have met if we hadn’t gone to Pennsylvania given that they live in NYC and the flights are NOT cheap. I will try to remember that the Lord is in control next time my life turns “off course” from the one I planned on and wait for His timing, because He will never abandon me.

Or you.

He is Risen

I am one of the Sunday school teachers in my church for the 13 and 14 year old teens. Yesterday I taught about the importance of celebrating Easter.

ComeUntoChrist.org

I didn’t sleep well on Saturday night, so I asked my Jim to help me teach my class. I was so exhausted that I had trouble formulating my thoughts. I LOVE videos about Jesus and His apostles and disciples, and found a wonderful one on the LDS.org website that shows a powerful witness of one of my favorite apostles, John, the Beloved. The Apostle that Jesus loved so much that he trusted him to care for His beloved mother, Mary. I believe that they truly felt like brothers to each other, much like I feel about two of my closest friends.

I love watching John’s reactions to the Savior’s teachings, miracles, death, and His resurrection. I can’t imagine how confusing it must have been for these Apostles to witness the power that Jesus had performing numerous miracles and yet not one attempt to save himself from torture and a humiliating death.

We then explained to the class who the Elders were, along with the Pharisee and Sadducee leaders, to help them understand the politics and social norms of those ancient times. We read a small portion of the scriptures and then ran out of time. I was surprised when one of the teenage girls who asked if she could attend my class and then talked to a girl who is often chatty, thanked us for teaching the lesson. I welcome any teenager into my class because my goal is for them to feel the Spirit testify of the truthfulness of the Lord’s Resurrection. And to trust Him who suffered for us in Gethsemane and redeemed us if we will learn of Him, and give Him our hearts and our will. Because that’s really the only thing we can give Him. I’m grateful for this knowledge, to know that the Lord knows me, loves me, and trusts me enough to allow me to make mistakes. He allows me to fall and trusts me to pick myself up with His help. Because of Him I can repent of my sins, and come unto Him.

Always.

Here is the beautiful video:

I Need Music

I often wake up in pain and forget to listen and sing along to a few of my favorite songs that often help ease me feel better. Research has proven that music influences people’s thoughts and mood. A love song makes me want to be with my husband, and a church song helps ease my stress as I remember that my Heavenly Father is aware of me and what is going on in my life. My son ALWAYS listens to music when he takes a shower. The combination of the water and loud music helps to clear his sleepy brain as he begins his day.

Even my cat loves music!

The above picture shows one of our family’s cats, Princess, on the upright piano. She likes to walk on the keys from one end to the other. And like a princess, her “playing/walking” actually sounds okay!

I’m grateful that the Lord gave us the gift of music, and need to be consistent with my vocal warm-ups and studying my piano music books again. As much as I love to play by ear, where there is a song in my head and I somehow know what keys to play.

Does anyone have a story involving music that you’d like to share in the comments?