What day is it?

I want this virus to go away already; it seems like we’ve been in isolation for a year now. Depression has me in its firm grip, so I ask myself what day of the week it is at least once a day. I’ve been planning to create a schedule for myself (which I HATE) by the day of the week so I’d have a better time remembering where in the week I am. I refuse to watch the news for more than a few minutes. I’ve been watching a DJ named Derek Floren every night but even that entertainment has waned. He plays music from his house and dances while the music plays and even sings with the tract. Quite a few women want to date him and they are nice to each other yet are competing for his attention. Even I did that for a while, feeding off of their emotions as an empath.

Someday life will return to normal, though it will feel different. It will take time for us not to view others as the virus and avoid each other. But that day will come.

High Anxiety

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I was on my computer this morning when Jim told me about a huge meeting with work through their business meeting room scheduled in one hour. We took a long walk and went to our favorite spot to watch the Geese as we pondered the consequences of him losing his job due to Covid-19.

Fortunately for the moment, they feel that he’s an essential employee. Our hearts are hurting for the ones who will be either laid off or put on Furlough for one to two months. I alternate between feeling anxious for everyone who lost their job (or will), and depressed about the amount of people who are sick or dying from this horrible virus.

1.) I’ve noticed a few good changes, though.

2.) My neighbors are waaay friendlier now. In fact, so am I.

3.) My husband and I have taken so many walks, we probably burned through hundreds of calories in each one.

4.) Our sons talk to us more often. They can’t see their friends, attend school, or work many hours.

We are still praying for a successful treatment for Covid-19 and that life will at least be functional again. Jim and I are taking an herbal supplement for stress, and I’m grateful for having my Zoloft medication; life seems crazy at the moment. Stay healthy!

The Power of Faith

Photo Credit: Greg Olsen

I’ve been tracking the Covid-19 updates,especially in the Houston, Texas area. The numbers keep going up, even with the social distancing. My parents constantly watch the news with their grim predictions.

To counteract my anxiety, I turn to my faith. I choose to believe that everything will be okay. I search my scriptures and follow the Lord’s living prophet, President Russell M. Nelson, who teaches:

“We live in a time of turmoil. Earthquakes and tsunamis wreak devastation, governments collapse, economic stresses are severe, the family is under attack, and divorce rates are rising. We have great cause for concern. But we do not need to let our fears displace our faith. We can combat those fears by strengthening our faith.”

I need my faith to sustain me or my anxiety will overtake me as I worry about people losing their jobs and their lives, such as my friends, family, and people around the globe. My heart hurts for everyone affected on a deeper level. However, this too shall pass. The Lord will bless us as we put our trust in Him.

Angels

I know from personal experience that angels are real and have helped me numerous times. I’ve been protected from harm once while driving across the country, and often when panic threatens to overcome me.

This year has been such a hard one for me with my health problems. My anxiety and stress have been much worse then last year, but I’ve had earthly angels help me unexpectedly, such as stopping over my house with a hot chocolate mug with delicious a mint hot chocolate packet.

Today I will attend church with a brace around my neck and a heavy boot on my right foot. But I will be there! Even as I write this post my nerves are overwhelming me, but I’m picturing heavenly angels sustaining and loving me as I do my best to move forward in faith that everything will be okay in the end because God loves me.

My Mental Health

This month has been stressful for me; more than it usually is. It didn’t help that I went a few days without my medication, Sertraline, something I take for my anxiety. I’ve spent much more time crying over various things that I would NEVER do under normal stressful times.

I don’t know if it stems from my brother getting married in two months, if summer is coming which brings way too much heat with it, or if it’s just my body releasing some of my deeply hidden pain. On Saturday my oldest son and I got into an argument (I won’t get into that) but it made me want him to move out. My feelings were deeply hurt, and I knew that I needed to pray for the gift of forgiving him and for strength to endure my difficult life.

Fortunately, he did give me what I needed as I drove out into the country without him so I could think and not feel annoyed at him just for being in the house. We talked about our issues and he promised to be more respectful and allowed me to help his mood swings with my doTerra oils which have helped us with various medical problems!

I’m so grateful to have my Sertraline again, and am grateful for the help it provides me to keep going and getting out of bed each day. I pray the day when I no longer need them to feel less anxious from the heavy load I carry everyday.

Challenging Week

Our younger son has autism but is considered high functioning. He has had problems controlling his anger, which both the doctors and therapists warned us would happen as our son navigates through his teenage years. He loves to play video games and hasn’t worked on his school projects, so I took away his game privileges, computer, and his phone.

He did NOT take it well and repeatedly hit my husband while I drove my son to work. My son has been at a local behavioral hospital where the doctor added some more meds to what he takes already. I have also set a goal to really research autism and how it effects the brain, new research findings, etc. and what essential oils I can add to help with any anxiety, frustration or anger that may seemingly strike him at random times.

The nurse called me today to tell me that my son and his room mate got into a physical fight, though they don’t know who started it since there were no witnesses. I’m worried about his future and will continue to pray that the Lord watches over my son and guides him, especially since deep down he has a sweet spirit.

Gosh, this is tough. So very tough.

But I refuse to give up on him. Heavenly Father gave me this sweet spirit to raise and He trusts me to do my best. And the Lord ALWAYS helps those who believe in Him. Tomorrow my husband, brother and I are going to the temple to work on our family names and pray about how we can help my son and focus more of our energy serving the Lord by praying more often and learning more about Him.