Love

Love is one of my favorite topics, and I want need to focus my time this week on feeling more love for my family and friends. I don’t want my chronic pain or Billy’s wedding to stress me out and cause me to have a panic attack. I have a wonderful set-up in my bedroom where I have an electric recliner to support my neck, along with a window with a view of our lake and fountain. This ensures that I can withdraw from everyone.

Though it pains me to write this, Sometimes with 8 other people living in my house (one of them is my son’s friend), I’ll often lock my door and sit down with my lap top, such as right now. Because a mom has to get a short break once in a while!

In Galatians 5:22–23: it states that, “The fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, long suffering, gentleness, goodness, faith, meekness, temperance.”

I need to serve my family more, and pray more, especially to feel the kind of love that the Lord has for all of us. I have experienced the pure love that the Holy Spirit gives us from our Savior, and felt the priesthood power as I receive blessings for illness or pain. Maybe I can love them deeper by spending more time with them and searching for small things that may want or need. And I can also work on developing more patience through my challenges by visioning myself living in a world where my body is strong again.

My Mental Health

This month has been stressful for me; more than it usually is. It didn’t help that I went a few days without my medication, Sertraline, something I take for my anxiety. I’ve spent much more time crying over various things that I would NEVER do under normal stressful times.

I don’t know if it stems from my brother getting married in two months, if summer is coming which brings way too much heat with it, or if it’s just my body releasing some of my deeply hidden pain. On Saturday my oldest son and I got into an argument (I won’t get into that) but it made me want him to move out. My feelings were deeply hurt, and I knew that I needed to pray for the gift of forgiving him and for strength to endure my difficult life.

Fortunately, he did give me what I needed as I drove out into the country without him so I could think and not feel annoyed at him just for being in the house. We talked about our issues and he promised to be more respectful and allowed me to help his mood swings with my doTerra oils which have helped us with various medical problems!

I’m so grateful to have my Sertraline again, and am grateful for the help it provides me to keep going and getting out of bed each day. I pray the day when I no longer need them to feel less anxious from the heavy load I carry everyday.